The Best Adventure

The best adventures happen when you take a leap. This reluctant Mamma has decided to travel for church. Today I was free to worship out-rightly in the dimmed sanctuary, prayer walls surrounding. Today the Pastor spoke such an amazingly spirit-filled message- it brought tears to my eyes. Today I felt filled up and reminded that I was tagged for heaven, by Jesus himself.
Then Garry met us and we headed up a mountain to Paul Lake. It was so beautiful; I could live there. Well, if not for the windy road that will soon be covered in winter snow. We had a wonderful family day and played at the water's edge. Autumn's colors were a perfect backdrop.
Today was the best adventure. We are set to go. I am set for change. Letting go. Or rather, running into the unknown. We are also headed the same way for our homeschooling activities. Check back in six months to see how it all pans out. I loved today.

 

A Sad Letting Go.

I once had this friend that I loved. I began to journey one way and her another. It pained me to be close as she would not let me fly. I wanted her to come with me so badly, but there was no strength in her to do so and I could not lift her up. She began to turn away from me more and more. I had to let her go. I hate letting go. I want things to stay the same. I am loyal to the grooves of comfort that are there in deep conversation and families joined in play. Letting go was hard and so sad. I still have a place in my heart for her. A hope for her. I am no longer letting myself be pulled and pained. This is a true story.
There is a place in my life that is just like this. A place that I love in part. A place that I wish to help so badly, that I would put my life on the line. This place isn't ready for change. It is too hard. There is no strength to do so, and I myself am emptied by the amount of pain it brings with it. And so, I have to let go. I am not sure if it even is the right thing to do, but then I remember my friend. You cannot make anyone decide for themselves, but you can choose to not to continue to be dragged down.
We have lived here six years now. It was not what I expected and God has done enormous amounts of healing in my life. I am also not connected to who I thought I would have been. But, six years and I need to be wise. We may love each other, but God takes us through seasons. I want to stay the same forever, but I do not want to stay in the same place.
Decisions are made and I will be walking in them. If they are not for us, they will swerve. If they are for us, we will finally have some relief. I am tired. Maybe I am walking the wrong way and the wind is blowing in my face, not allowing me to breathe. I am going to turn around now. The journey will be easier with the wind at my back, stirring me on.

Overcoming

We need new songs. David sang new songs. We need songs of worship. We need songs of declaration of God's glory, of His grace. We need songs of warfare. We need to cry. We need to shout and stomp. We need to stretch our arms. Songs are attached to our spirits, our hearts. They bring memories and are stories of our churches. We need the times of softening hearts. We need the times of joy after the overcoming ends. We really need to sing more freely. It breaks the darkness .We don't need constant sameness. We need realness. We need scripture declaration. We need "O, my soul" calls. We need to break the heaviness.
I love a new word. I love a new picture of God's love. I love a fresh encouragement. I love a new story of God's goodness. I love a creative melody of scripture poured out. Our God is creative. We are created. I love when I can't resist to stretch my arms wide in agreement from the inside of myself. Great are you LORD. I am not singing just words. I am worshipping. I feel the wind rushing in my spirit. An intimate encounter with the Holy Spirit. You know He is renewing you as you lean into Jesus himself. Seriously, we need to let each other be free. We need to let each other be real. We need new songs.