Tonight I got to live in community. It is very important. It is a place where people show their character, a place where people let their guard down. There is something undoing about people with their guard down. It is in that place where you can love more truly. In that place you can see more clearly. This is all I want. I want to see and be seen. I don't like the passing by places. I don't like the head nods and vagueness of the public places. I want to live in the places where we commune together.
I am still not sure of what that will look like moving forward. I have to, need to, live where we are at. It is continually frustrating. I keep trying to guess, but I don't see a way out. I am too tired to fight. I am too tired to live on the road. I am ready for a summer cooped up in this farm house in the woods (which is actually a modular home on a treed acre lot). I want to do more, but I don't know if I am ready to commit to such an unstable footing. It is not about indecisiveness, it is about not knowing the best way. Thy will be done.
Sunday, June 14, 2015
Friday, June 5, 2015
Lullaby
There is a lull. June is feeling like the Wednesday of this hard year. This last few weeks have continued to be so bad that it is laughable. Bring it on is my heart cry at the moment. Roof leaking, chicken pocks, etc.... Life is truly out of my control; which is probably the lesson. Right now there is a lull. Major appointments are done, art lessons have finished this afternoon, school reporting is done. I feel separated from the whole still, but in a good way. I am ready to settle in at home and rest. It is beginning to feel like summer, and I want to slow down and feel the warming shelter of sunny days. A great conversation came up today that leads me back to the teaching in my home. I am ready for some newness that brings strengthening of the foundations again.
Anyways, it is late... I have missed so many chances to write, we have company, and tomorrow we are off for a wedding weekend. I hope and pray that this summer is telling about the direction for this family.
Anyways, it is late... I have missed so many chances to write, we have company, and tomorrow we are off for a wedding weekend. I hope and pray that this summer is telling about the direction for this family.
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